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Dear Friend.

My heart leaps for joy knowing these past two years my prayers are working. God is soooo faithful. I am encouraged greatly and trusting God that I will continue to see a breakthrough inside of your heart. Many times I have wanted to give up, but truth is something inside of me won’t let me. I am encouraged, my heart smiles and I have faith that you will continue to find God. That you would run from your pride and run towards Jesus. Jesus, the one can only save you. He forgives, loves and wants you. You finally realized that you were empty and GOd is working in me to help reach you. You are Good when there’s nothing good in me. I am continue to pray that God will give you strength to fight another day in the navy. Seek him and find him and when you find him with your being he will come. Just let go, and let God take over your life. Let him have your whole entire life. We as people can’t carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. I am praying for the day that you become a man of God and that you wont be living to please others in ways that is wrong. You were made to shine and be bright and beautiful. I see potential and so much more in You. I see a future that is bright and filled with so much life. Your living for yourself, wanting to be wanted in ways that you shouldn’t. I am far from perfect, but I am striving to be more like God. I am not perfect, but I have God who loves me with all my flaws, weaknesses and sins. He loves me just the same. We need Jesus. We can’t live without him. I am deeply encouraged to have a better relationship with Jesus. I want you to continue to want what I have. Because hes going to continue to rock yo crazy world. I believe in You. I love you deeply, maybe we will be together in the end but not now. I am not ready for you, your not ready for me. God, its all in your timing. If its meant to be it will happen when we are both ready.

Keep on shining (:

just take me away.

Come take me away to a life that isn’t perfect but full of beauty.

I’m not expecting life to perfect; much less beautiful

Even though pain hurts it will subside

All these complications take me to questioning why I am here.

I am afraid to let others into my messed up life

I’m barely hanging on, just looking for my place

The only belonging I have is through Jesus.

I’m lonely; God can you see this that I am wanting out.

How much longer can I hold on?

I keep pushing forward into life because

I am no quitter.

I don’t matter.

Just take me away..

my heart desires

 My curious mind wonders while I should be focusing on other things. I am usually up in space thinking about something other than school work. Lately,  I wonder what direction I am headed to if nursing school doesn’t work out right away. Who knows God could have bigger and better things for me. My curious mind wonders on thinking about where I should go next, but I am letting God pick the best choice.  My heart is full of compassion and someday I hope to achieve this degree in Nursing before I am 25- 30. Oh Jesus I can’t wait to use these talents and gifts that God has  given to me. I am incredibly excited to use my God given talents to help others.  One day my name tag will say Taylor  with some hospital name tag.  My biggest dream ever since I was little has been to work at St. Jude’s Children’s hospital with little kids of cancer. I hope to help anybody that I can.  So…. now I am going to give you some of my hearts desires. Some day soon I am looking at going on a mission’s trip to somewhere here in the United States or in some other country.  If I don’t make it nursing school for summer 2012  I am looking at getting involved with YWAM.( Youth with a mission) and get involved in a discipleship program for a couple months and the rest of the time  is some kind of mission work. As for now I am just trying to get through this first semester at this college that I really don’t like. I don’t like this place at all anymore. The leaves are quite beautiful and so is this campus, but it doesn’t feel like my place anymore.  Gonna try and stick this college place thingy mabob whatever you wanna call it out. I’m looking forward to seeing where God is gonna take me through this journey. As I walk through this journey, I would love your prayers 🙂  

Psalms 32:8

” I will instruct you in the ways you should go; I will counsel and watch over you”

whats really inside my head

Each day I get weaker because I am still so lost

I hid the tears each day, while deep inside my heart breaks

I am out of place; I lost my beautiful smile that once was shining

This place is dark and scary

I want out of here

Come take me away and get me out of here

My head says give up

But I don’t, I cant and I won’t 

And that’s not something I will do

 I fake a smile to show I am fine

I am truly not inside

I may shed a tear when your not looking

but i quickly wipe it away so you don’t see

the truth behind what i really feel is 

Can I be anywhere but here?

hello to you :)

Three weeks have  already passed since I have started my freshmen year of college. Wow! The first week was pretty tough and I hated every minute when I was not in my classes. I was ready to drop out of college and forget my dream of being a nurse. I didn’t care what happened in life, I just wanted to get away. I went back home to just get away from the weekend, but then I realized that I already missed the few friends that I made. I couldn’t wait to get back to Mason City and see them.

As I find myself sitting here at my computer writing this to you readers I am glad to be here. I am thankful and blessed to be here. Yes, I won’t lie to you, but I miss my mommy and daddy just a wee little bit. I love being away from home, not too far away but not too close either. It’s super to nice to be away from Cedar Falls, but I do miss being home at my church on Sunday’s and also a few friends. The food here is AWESOME!!!  The campus is beautiful and there are all different sizes of trees.  I am so excited for fall and to see all the beautiful fall leaves change into bright orange, yellow and red, I usually find myself with someone each and every night. But don’t worry I am also working on my school work and studying while being social. A few friends and I have homework parties and its sooooo much fun. The other night I went to a bonfire at our  CMA leader’s house and so many people came and was a great time relaxing and just talking and hanging out with other people that love Jesus. After a while we became too loud and had a couple police officers’ come and talk to our leader and none of us had any idea what was going on. Lol turns out we were too loud.  The college life is treating me well and not quite kicking my butt. I’m still looking to find a church that feels like home, but until then I am going to a good church as I continue to look around here in Mason City! Today, I had 2 classes and afterwards I had lunch and came back and took a nap. I can’t believe after going to bed early that I’m still so tired. I went with my friend, Marissa from (my Campus Ministry group) and we went and fed six deer in a closed off area by this park. These deer are so sweet and adorable.  We brought carrots and celery and finished off both to these sweet deer! AHH it was sooooo much fun. I can’t wait to go feed them again!  I decided to stick a carrot in my mouth and had one of the baby deer’s take the carrot out of my mouth and nibble it. It was so adorable!

Tonight, I am going to hang out in my room and watch some Medical Shows and possibly hang with a few friends later tonight and do some studying this weekend for a test that I have next week. If you would keep me in your prayers as I try and seek God’s guidance on what His plans for my life are the next few years I would greatly appreciate it. Every day I am learning something new about life and how everything happens for a reason. God gives us these struggles for different reason to make us stronger and if we give up we aren’t becoming stronger like God wants us too. One day you will see the light again. I am really into quotes and memory verses so I will try and leave with you each and every post on here. Until then peace out

Ps. You can still talk to me on facebook and ask me  how I am doing.

Taylor Ashley

Quote # 1.“Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go.”  —- Natalie Goldberg..