Archive for October, 2012


I wanna be truly happy with being single. 

I wanna love life in everyway

I wanna know what God’s love is like 

I wanna feel it from every part of my life

I am tired of hiding, running from the saddness

His love has no end. 

I want to be happy

truly, really happy

I wanna love my body again

I wanna forget the past and enter right into the future.

i wanna i wanna i wanna be me again.

and not somebody else.

 

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Tired of hurting, tired of breaking.
i am tired of this mess i brought myself into. I didn’t listen, stubborn and selfish.
but looking back i hurt myself bad in the process. I lost my confidence in standing tall. The more I look at it, the more i am learning to fall.
It’s either bend or breaking. I am breaking.
I learned to depend on boys to complete my emotional needs.
I wanted to feel important, loved and wanted attention
I wanted this but really did it fix things?
Nope i lost myself and i don’t know who i am anymore.
i just wanna be okay again. i don’t wanna wake up and each day becomes better i want it to be like BAM! your back to your normal self.
I am disappointed.
i love you but i hate you the same.
you be the one to bend and i’ll be the one to break.

Dear Jesus,

I like this boy a lot. I am trying my hardest to not like him because I need to focus on my time here in Louisville, Kentucky.  I have so much to get through during my time here. He’s distracting me. I give these thoughts and feelings to you and hope that I can see him as a brother through Christ. Help me lose my feelings for him and focus on YOU. Because right now that most important. I don’t want to over think anything anymore. Because I am not here for boys.  I am here for you. He’s distracting me greatly. If anything is supposed to happen not now but later on.