Archive for September, 2011


whats really inside my head

Each day I get weaker because I am still so lost

I hid the tears each day, while deep inside my heart breaks

I am out of place; I lost my beautiful smile that once was shining

This place is dark and scary

I want out of here

Come take me away and get me out of here

My head says give up

But I don’t, I cant and I won’t 

And that’s not something I will do

 I fake a smile to show I am fine

I am truly not inside

I may shed a tear when your not looking

but i quickly wipe it away so you don’t see

the truth behind what i really feel is 

Can I be anywhere but here?

hello to you :)

Three weeks have  already passed since I have started my freshmen year of college. Wow! The first week was pretty tough and I hated every minute when I was not in my classes. I was ready to drop out of college and forget my dream of being a nurse. I didn’t care what happened in life, I just wanted to get away. I went back home to just get away from the weekend, but then I realized that I already missed the few friends that I made. I couldn’t wait to get back to Mason City and see them.

As I find myself sitting here at my computer writing this to you readers I am glad to be here. I am thankful and blessed to be here. Yes, I won’t lie to you, but I miss my mommy and daddy just a wee little bit. I love being away from home, not too far away but not too close either. It’s super to nice to be away from Cedar Falls, but I do miss being home at my church on Sunday’s and also a few friends. The food here is AWESOME!!!  The campus is beautiful and there are all different sizes of trees.  I am so excited for fall and to see all the beautiful fall leaves change into bright orange, yellow and red, I usually find myself with someone each and every night. But don’t worry I am also working on my school work and studying while being social. A few friends and I have homework parties and its sooooo much fun. The other night I went to a bonfire at our  CMA leader’s house and so many people came and was a great time relaxing and just talking and hanging out with other people that love Jesus. After a while we became too loud and had a couple police officers’ come and talk to our leader and none of us had any idea what was going on. Lol turns out we were too loud.  The college life is treating me well and not quite kicking my butt. I’m still looking to find a church that feels like home, but until then I am going to a good church as I continue to look around here in Mason City! Today, I had 2 classes and afterwards I had lunch and came back and took a nap. I can’t believe after going to bed early that I’m still so tired. I went with my friend, Marissa from (my Campus Ministry group) and we went and fed six deer in a closed off area by this park. These deer are so sweet and adorable.  We brought carrots and celery and finished off both to these sweet deer! AHH it was sooooo much fun. I can’t wait to go feed them again!  I decided to stick a carrot in my mouth and had one of the baby deer’s take the carrot out of my mouth and nibble it. It was so adorable!

Tonight, I am going to hang out in my room and watch some Medical Shows and possibly hang with a few friends later tonight and do some studying this weekend for a test that I have next week. If you would keep me in your prayers as I try and seek God’s guidance on what His plans for my life are the next few years I would greatly appreciate it. Every day I am learning something new about life and how everything happens for a reason. God gives us these struggles for different reason to make us stronger and if we give up we aren’t becoming stronger like God wants us too. One day you will see the light again. I am really into quotes and memory verses so I will try and leave with you each and every post on here. Until then peace out

Ps. You can still talk to me on facebook and ask me  how I am doing.

Taylor Ashley

Quote # 1.“Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go.”  —- Natalie Goldberg..